This is why you eat your veggies...

Take a moment to take this in: I am a very particularly strange individual who for years was diagnosed with ADHD and recently proclaimed to have borderline personality disorder as well as a slight form of autism. Chronic depression and anxiety also crammed into the awesomeness that is me. Even these may help to answer why my dreams are pretty fucked up, but my husband still likes to egg me on that I'm a crack head and that I need to lay off the crack pipe before bed.


Haha. You're not funny.


I've had this one strange reoccurring dream every few years now. And it continues to wake me up in tears of laughter. It is seriously that ridiculous. It begins in the house I'm usually currently living in and the surrounding area. Since I lived at AEDC when the dream stopped reoccurring, I'll re-tell it from there.


We lived in housing, being on an air force base, with a couple hundred yards of flat pavement to the main road to the city. We are tucked away in a reserve for animals, so the base is in a bunch of woods. There was a hill and I lived up on the hill where the highest ranks lived. My father was a colonel. It was almost sunset when I came down the hill, friends in toe. We all had guns, and had been previously fighting off hoards of giant walking talking broccoli that had bright big eyes and shot carrots guns. Their ammunition was peas.


The hunger was intense; we may not have eaten our vegetables back then, but it was imperative we starve ourselves to eat these vegetables, which when served with cheese and sauce was pretty damn delicious. We had eaten through the green bean tanks and skewered the broccoli aliens, charging them into a raging camp fire near the entrance of the base. The vegetable troops marched on foot, so to see this fire and their comrades grilled and eaten probably would've scared the green edible veggie shit out of them.


We poured some salt and cheese on them, stuffing our faces. The peas, unfortunately, were just as dangerous as real bullets. You got hit, you were bleeding everywhere. And indeed people got hurt. I think we may have won, because the huge cauliflower ships crashed and burned. They never got to leave.


I'm still waiting for the next installment of these veggie invaders. They should be more technologically advanced this time. It seems every time I dream this one, they get more dangerous and better at fighting...