Paddle boarding: a photographers advantage

Paddle boarding is like a canoe and a surf board had a baby. Basically, it's a surf board with a paddle, it is more fun than it sounds, I promise. You can take these SUP (Stand Up Paddle boards) out on the ocean, lakes, rivers, ect. Depending on your experience. They allow for excellent viewing of marine life and for a photographer like myself, this is a trip to paradise. I have come up close and personal with seals, sea lions, otters, dolphins, fish, whales, jelly fish, sea faring birds, and even sharks. These experiences make having a water proof camera a top priority.

The Baby Panthers Have Arrived!

No, I am not talking about the insanely adorable big cats. I'm talking panther chameleons. As some of you may know, I've made my profession in reptile breeding. Recently I have discovered that a good sized clutch of panther eggs have hatched!
We are all simply overjoyed! Several of them already have families waiting to take them home. These families have gone threw several test and have been assigned home work to ensure the animals will be going to a great home.


The smaller chameleons are obviously the babies, but the larger ones are the parents. The more vibrant orange one is the father and the mother is the blue one. Enjoy!

My daydream in Spanish Class

So you know how I always have these daydreams with the people who invade classrooms with guns?
Well it started during my Spanish class. I get really bored during Spanish.

So This guy passes our door with a big ass gun and I naturally reached under my desk for the handgun taped under it.And a voice comes over the intercom saying that we are all hostages for the advancement of "some shit I can't think fully about and don't understand but will kill all of you because of it".

A man comes into the classroom and I put the silencer on the gun I had which was naturally up my sleeve.

And I point the gun at the guy from under the desk. I say "hey. How many of you are there?"
"twenty. So don't get any ideas"
"too late."

And so I shoot him in the face and I peek out the class room, I make sure that nobody is in the hallway and go out towards the health wing.

There is a hallway that branches off and I see people there. So I looked over and saw that there was a metal panel on the wall.(there actually is in RL, not what's in it though)

So I magically got super human strength for two seconds only and ripped it off the wall, sending it flying towards them, hitting three of them down the hall and trapping them.

I looked into where the panel was and took out two assault rifles, concussion grenades, and actual grenades and went down the hall of the health wing.

I stopped at one of the doors and looked in, I held one of the rifles through the doorway and said "anybody know how to use one of these?"

And that's where Sally comes in with her BAWSS self and grabs the rifle from my hand and says "yolo"

So I hand Sally some grenades and we head back towards the cafeteria.

There's a shitload of people there and there are guards at every door. I take out my silenced gun and shoot one.

Then we head inside, shhhing everyone from us and I take out a K-Bar knife while Sally just magically has one in her boot.

So then we split up and we go behind every bad guy from behind and slit there throats. Of course Sally had to be badass with the last one and make him scream.

So then we go to the main office. Somehow we both know sign language and communicate through that stuff.

And then we hear sirens outside.

So then we look at eachother and we were both like "yolo"

And then a priest comes out of nowhere and says "JOLT"

"Jesus only lived twice."
Then for some reason he just walks away(Weird how comedy makes it into my daydreams)

So we looked around the corner and saw the boss and one other guy who looked kinda like Kony talking to them(I was daydreaming them as communist nationalists but somehow a black guy made it into the mix of a bunch of Russians)

And they head into the main office, the black guy facing inwards at the door and the boss at the intercom.

So we telepathically message eachother a plan and I pull out my pistol while Sally takes out her assault rifle(cuz we're cool like that)

And we sneak up on them. I put the pistol to the black guys head and nudge him forward while Sally comes in like a badass pointing the rifle directly at the boss

The boss has his finger still on the intercom so pretty much everyone can hear.

And Sally was like."you know what is wrong with the phrase YOLO?"
The boss is like "What?"
And she points it closer at him and she's like."you only live ONCE." then she shoot him and he spazzes like in the movies.

-For all SC players The character Sally is loosely(pretty much all the way) based off of R3N

Waiting...

What are you waiting for?
The time is right,
And the fruit is bared.
Yet you stand,
Stand as if you are waiting.
Waiting for something that isn't coming.
You know this and you want to do something.
But you are unable. Unable to do what you have wanted to do for oh so long.
Do long that you are almost screaming it from your lungs,
Putting it in the air.
But it is the uncertainty of how it ends that gets you from the beginning.

My Rescue Danes

I have three dogs, two of which are great Danes. The pair have a troubled back story, but are one of the best friends a person could ask for.
I was out on a run and I had gone about seven miles when I heard this whimpering coming from a back yard from a long since abandoned house. I peered between the aging planks of wood and saw a scene from a nightmare. Two great Danes,bone thin, were locked and left to die in the back yard. I quickly sprinted to the nearest store and used my lunch money for the week to buy two leashes, two huge collars, and the biggest bag of dog treats I could afford and ran back to the house not thinking about any thing else but helping the dogs.
I carefully cracked open the gate and was greeted with weak growls. I took a breath as eliminated all fear and took a bold step into the yard, a hand full of moist dog treats. I knew I was probably going to get bit if things went well, but didn't care. These dogs were the biggest things I had ever seen and were on their feet in no time, the fur on their backs raised. I remember looking into their eyes and seeing the fear and neglect. I promptly got on my knees and began throwing treats by them, which were quickly gobbled up. I smiled slightly and used my shameless animal voice, trying to keep them calm. I slowly regained my feet and walked over, allowing them to see the leashes and not hiding a thing from them and continued offering treats, which were never refused. I slowly reached up a hand and shit hit the fan.
A loud bark and one of them had lunged at my face, I stumbled back and fell in a dirt pile, getting dust every where and the dog had fallen down with me. I couldn't help but laugh after I had acknowledged I was okay, but laying next to me, completely covered in dust was a black and white giant. He had calmed down a lot and I reached out a scrapped hand to touch it. My frayed palm touched down on the crown of its head and I happily exclaimed to my self. Success.
I spent a good part of an hour back there with these giants that could kill me if they wanted. I had found that playing with any type of ball was the best thing in the world to them and they were major cuddlers. I looked up and saw that the sun was falling out and gold was pouring into the streets. I carefully took off their old, ripped, and over grown collars off and slipped the new ones on. I remember seeing my reflection in a price of broken mirror in the back yard and I held the goofiest grin on my face.
The leashes were quickly put on with ease. Now to get them all the way home. I swung open the gate and peered into the alley way. Empty. Good. I brought them close, one on each side and stepped into the ally way with them following closely.
We walked down the ally way and I drew in a deep breath before walking boldly out onto the street. The black and white one who I called "Dex" pulled closer to my side, while the fawn colored one who had adopted the name "Marmaduke" was being adventurous and happily sniffing every thing in range. I got several funky looks from people on the side walk and in cars. We passed several other people with dogs and to my surprise, the Danes paid no attention to them, not the slightest. Oh happy day. Well mannered, gentle giants.
I had gotten home and like when I had left no one was their besides my reptiles and my other dog, a purebred doxie who got along great with any thing. I turned the key and my house door swung open and I dropped the leashes, the dogs looked like they were in heaven. They were quickly all over every thing, sniffing and testing out every thing they could. I headed for the kitchen and pulled two large bowls from my kitchen and I had remembered from a book I read that Danes had to have their food bowls elevated do their stomachs didn't flip over. The bowls were quickly filled with kibble and placed on a bench. The food quickly disappeared and I also remembered that they should rest for about an hour after eating to avoid the same problem. I headed for my room with them at my heels and flopped on my bed, them doing the same and at that point I figured out how desperately they wanted to be lap dogs and me being the push over I am, ended up with about three hundred pounds of dog on my lap. From that point on I knew these dogs were family and they were staying like that.
My family fell in love with them, but the dogs have never loved any one like they love me since that day I took a chance and saved the giant dogs. Marmaduke is a four year old pure bred fawn great dane and Dex is his four year old black and white pure bred best friend. They greatly enjoy trips to the beach and park and playing in water, mainly jumping in the deep end of the pool. They are now both extremely healthy and happy and accompany me on hikes and walks. They are extreme goof balls and act just like boys.

Giving poetry a stab

We must talk in every telephone
Get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues
From the books that we have read
And at the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare
We must stare
We must stare

We must take all the medicines
To expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist
Who sleeps but doesn't dream
We must sing
We must sing
We must sing

While my mother waters plants
My father loads his gun
He said
Death will give us back to god
Just like the setting sun
Is returned to the lonesome ocean

We must blend in with the choir
Sing ecstatic with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers
And deny we have a soul
And in the endless race
For property and privilege to be won
We must run
We must run
We must run

We must hang up in the belfry
We're the bats and moon light laugh
We must look into a crystal ball
And only see the past
And into the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flash lights and our love
We must plunge
We must plunge
We must plunge

And then we'll get down to the very bottom of it
And we'll see it!
Oh we'll see it!
We'll see it!

Oh my mornings coming back
The whole worlds waking up
All the city busses swimming past
I'm happy just because
I found out I am really no one...

If

If life were lived,
Then I would live longest.
If love were expressed,
Then I would love many.
For the emotions I convey through words,
Overthrow my actions.
For the amount of things I've done,
Cannot match what I feel.

Oneiric

Oneiric 

Of or relating to the suggestion of dreams.

  This is how I feel when I read this blog. I read all the amazing posts, so I started searching through my music list for a song that fit both this word, Oneiric and Reverie. This is my official blog song. Which is yours? Which song comes to your head as you scroll down. Feeding the fish or reading some of the entries.

Post below in comments and click on the link to enjoy my selections by Mum, an Icelandic Band that has amazingly oneiric music

Mum- There is a Number of Small Things

Mum- Green Grass Tunnels

The Show

It was raining on this day a year ago exactly, and the day after that too. I remember too, because something happened that day. Something more rememberable than your best friends birthday, hopefully… I don't have good friends, so birthdays are rarely a big deal.
Anyhow, up here in Main, when your snowed in, your out of a job. Up here in Main, the winter season last almost seven months. Up here in Main, you have to buy in bulk or eat snowcream for weeks and weeks. I do admit, I hate it up here, hate it. Even during the summer it's too cold to swim.
Otter beach was were l was at, it was cloudy, but we didn't care, or at least I didn't. Yea, I took a swim in that icy cold water, half freezing, but a dive in the ocean is still a dive in the ocean.
Well, I figured I was just about done when a crab snapped on my ankle. I waded out of the water, tossing the tiny crab off. It scampered off stupidly sideways towards the big rocks that separated us from the highway. I looked passed the rocks. I heard cars, but sure enough, we were the only ones there, me and jessica and caleb. Poor crab walked straight onto the highway and crunch.
It didn't bother me, the crab was going to a better place. Crab crossed the highway to the other side of Otter beach. His shell was shattered, and a piece was sticking out of his back. He looked even stupider than last time.

Well, all my friends, neighbors, and co- workers knew me as a mad man, and they had every reason to think that. After all, I write gibberish on the walls of my apartment. No no no, I'm not mad, I'm actually quite brilliant. Walls are just handy for being right there when you need them. Co-workers at the shop see me arranging the DVD's in a different order, hiding notes inside the ones that bombed, Tappy Toes, other low budget knock offs.

Next day, a guy in a flashy purple coat, almost like a pimp or something, walks in and asked me where he could find Bruce Cambel's Army of Darkness. I grabbed it, rushed back, and he gave me his credit card and walked away. I eyed it suspiciously, then stuck it in my wallet. I wasn't going to use it, never did, but I realized I had a note regarding several mind bending computer algorithms and such. Made a fool of myself trying to chase after his car, got fired too. Forced to give up my happy cap and keys.
That night, walking home in the rain, I see the man's car parked in the white lines front of Caleb's place. Lord knows I wanted the note back, so I walked into Caleb's apartment and asked. No dice. Jessica? Nope.

Well I walk in my place and sit down, turn the TV on and watch the theme song for Supernatural and rapidly start changing channels. 357, 353, 320, 300, 256, so on. I hear the theme song for Doctor Who and stop. Britain loves their mad men, why not America? They have Sherlock and Doctor and… others, and we have Survivorman and Deadliest Catch. We like seeing people suffer? Best way to get yourself known in America must be putting your life in jeopardy. Well, I planned on doing that. Scribbling on the wall franticly with crayon and I remember purple guy. Yes yes, him. I rush out, crayon in hand, and see him walking to his car. I toss the crayon his way and it hits his window and smears. He stops and pulls out a washcloth from his side pocket. All I could think was what the hell was he doing with a washcloth? It occurred to me, and I tried my best to rid myself of the feeling of this stranger grabbing my note with those filthy hands. He put up the washcloth, in his pocket, and opened the car door and walked in. No no no no no sir, don't leave yet! I ran after the car as it drove off. Damn thing got away from me. Well the rain didn't let up, so I was soaked. I felt like killing him, but I needed to do the show.
BOOM! The idea struck! I was going to do a jacked up Fear Factor! Or, or… A Saw type film! No actors, people! These people! Oh Mr. Purple, I must thank you.
Spent two years making This studio in Arizona. Much better than Main, much quieter. I got famous for my horrors, slashers, and gameshow parodies. Caleb became a star in Firestarter.
Jessica was known for her role as protagonist in Nevermore.
Sadly, they both had to retire after their performance.
I still have Mr. Purple's credit card, the crab made a good prop, and all my movies were sold at my old shop.

Troy: Mr. McLinsy, has there ever been a time where you questioned your film making practices?

McL: Nope *chuckles* Not at all.

Troy: Do you now, now that your in prison?

McL: No no no I say *laughs*

Troy: One last questio-

McL: Am I not important enough?

Troy: We only have time for-

McL: We have all the time in the world.

Troy: Well… you said you were detained during the production of GreyTown. Could you tell us what it was about?

McL: Colors. Wonderful colors! No no, it's going to be a hit! A blockbuster! A work of art!! It's perfect! On broadway! GreyTown on broadway! Beautiful! Wonderful! Oh how wonderful…
Sadly, we don't have a star yet… you? You? How bout you? You look like a hero, I suppose. But hero's all have flaws… yes! Your the perfect hero! Your the star! Oh yes… oh yes yes yes…