The Show

It was raining on this day a year ago exactly, and the day after that too. I remember too, because something happened that day. Something more rememberable than your best friends birthday, hopefully… I don't have good friends, so birthdays are rarely a big deal.
Anyhow, up here in Main, when your snowed in, your out of a job. Up here in Main, the winter season last almost seven months. Up here in Main, you have to buy in bulk or eat snowcream for weeks and weeks. I do admit, I hate it up here, hate it. Even during the summer it's too cold to swim.
Otter beach was were l was at, it was cloudy, but we didn't care, or at least I didn't. Yea, I took a swim in that icy cold water, half freezing, but a dive in the ocean is still a dive in the ocean.
Well, I figured I was just about done when a crab snapped on my ankle. I waded out of the water, tossing the tiny crab off. It scampered off stupidly sideways towards the big rocks that separated us from the highway. I looked passed the rocks. I heard cars, but sure enough, we were the only ones there, me and jessica and caleb. Poor crab walked straight onto the highway and crunch.
It didn't bother me, the crab was going to a better place. Crab crossed the highway to the other side of Otter beach. His shell was shattered, and a piece was sticking out of his back. He looked even stupider than last time.

Well, all my friends, neighbors, and co- workers knew me as a mad man, and they had every reason to think that. After all, I write gibberish on the walls of my apartment. No no no, I'm not mad, I'm actually quite brilliant. Walls are just handy for being right there when you need them. Co-workers at the shop see me arranging the DVD's in a different order, hiding notes inside the ones that bombed, Tappy Toes, other low budget knock offs.

Next day, a guy in a flashy purple coat, almost like a pimp or something, walks in and asked me where he could find Bruce Cambel's Army of Darkness. I grabbed it, rushed back, and he gave me his credit card and walked away. I eyed it suspiciously, then stuck it in my wallet. I wasn't going to use it, never did, but I realized I had a note regarding several mind bending computer algorithms and such. Made a fool of myself trying to chase after his car, got fired too. Forced to give up my happy cap and keys.
That night, walking home in the rain, I see the man's car parked in the white lines front of Caleb's place. Lord knows I wanted the note back, so I walked into Caleb's apartment and asked. No dice. Jessica? Nope.

Well I walk in my place and sit down, turn the TV on and watch the theme song for Supernatural and rapidly start changing channels. 357, 353, 320, 300, 256, so on. I hear the theme song for Doctor Who and stop. Britain loves their mad men, why not America? They have Sherlock and Doctor and… others, and we have Survivorman and Deadliest Catch. We like seeing people suffer? Best way to get yourself known in America must be putting your life in jeopardy. Well, I planned on doing that. Scribbling on the wall franticly with crayon and I remember purple guy. Yes yes, him. I rush out, crayon in hand, and see him walking to his car. I toss the crayon his way and it hits his window and smears. He stops and pulls out a washcloth from his side pocket. All I could think was what the hell was he doing with a washcloth? It occurred to me, and I tried my best to rid myself of the feeling of this stranger grabbing my note with those filthy hands. He put up the washcloth, in his pocket, and opened the car door and walked in. No no no no no sir, don't leave yet! I ran after the car as it drove off. Damn thing got away from me. Well the rain didn't let up, so I was soaked. I felt like killing him, but I needed to do the show.
BOOM! The idea struck! I was going to do a jacked up Fear Factor! Or, or… A Saw type film! No actors, people! These people! Oh Mr. Purple, I must thank you.
Spent two years making This studio in Arizona. Much better than Main, much quieter. I got famous for my horrors, slashers, and gameshow parodies. Caleb became a star in Firestarter.
Jessica was known for her role as protagonist in Nevermore.
Sadly, they both had to retire after their performance.
I still have Mr. Purple's credit card, the crab made a good prop, and all my movies were sold at my old shop.

Troy: Mr. McLinsy, has there ever been a time where you questioned your film making practices?

McL: Nope *chuckles* Not at all.

Troy: Do you now, now that your in prison?

McL: No no no I say *laughs*

Troy: One last questio-

McL: Am I not important enough?

Troy: We only have time for-

McL: We have all the time in the world.

Troy: Well… you said you were detained during the production of GreyTown. Could you tell us what it was about?

McL: Colors. Wonderful colors! No no, it's going to be a hit! A blockbuster! A work of art!! It's perfect! On broadway! GreyTown on broadway! Beautiful! Wonderful! Oh how wonderful…
Sadly, we don't have a star yet… you? You? How bout you? You look like a hero, I suppose. But hero's all have flaws… yes! Your the perfect hero! Your the star! Oh yes… oh yes yes yes…