You think you know me?

You think you know me,
But you see what I show,
I show my happy,
My solid outer structure that says that I'm not affected,
You think I'm happy,
Always happy,
Like I know no hurt,
No pain.
But what you don't see,
What you don't see is the constant battle,
A pitched battle between me and me.
In which one side is always the true victor,
Even if it doesn't show.
You think I'm always happy?
I have news then,
I'm not.
The constant agony that burns within me is no doubt the victor.
I apologize for things because its always my fault,
For my thoughts have been broken,
And no amount of adhesive would help.
I have become a shade of myself,
Nothing more,
I have let not only myself down but everyone else.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.